I spoke too soon

Here I ended my last blog with everyone happy healthy and well and … I ended up in the emergency room this morning.  Over the weekend I tripped and fell at a friend’s house as I was going out of the door on to a wooden patio.  I jammed my right fist and really strained muscles between my elbow and my shoulder.  Just typing is really painful.  At least nothing is broken.  I need to pay closer attention and not multitask as much!

All is well

As of right now, there’s nobody I know in the hospital, although I’m waiting for J. to give birth anyday now.  C’s blood pressure is being controlled with medication finally, although after a week of tests the doctors have no idea what caused the spike.  My dad can finally drive after his surgery, so my life can return to some semblance of order and I now longer have to run over to his house to drive him places.  Baby Kaitlyn is doing awesome in her first week on the planet

So I guess all I can say is that for now all is well, and I hope that this is an uneventful week and everyone stays happy and well!

Another hospital visit

Although I was contemplating a visit out west to visit baby K.  My “nursing” duties are needed far closer to home.  After spending a week with my father after he had hernia surgery last week, I got the call that my friend C. (who had the surprise Alice in Wonderland birthday party last Saturday) has been hospitalized for high blood pressure.  When her husband took her in they thought she was having a stroke.  Unfortunately the physicians still haven’t managed to lower C’s blood pressure and they are all quite worried about C’s health.  Calling out for all prayersfrom everyone regardless of faith, beliefs or religions.  My prayer for C….

Let us Pray:

O Lord, this is all my desire — to walk along the path of life that Thou hast appointed me, even as Jesus my Lord would walk along it, in steadfastness of faith, in meekness of spirit, in lowliness of heart, in gentleness of love. And because outward events have so much power in scattering my thoughts and disturbing the inward peace in which alone the voice of Thy spirit is heard, do Thou, gracious Lord, calm and settle my soul by that subduing power which alone can bring all thoughts and desires of the heart into captivity to Thyself. All I have is Thine; do Thou with all as seems best to Thy divine will; for I know not what is best. Let not the cares or duties of this life press on me too heavily; but lighten my burden, that I may follow Thy way in quietness, filled with thankfulness for Thy mercy, and rendering acceptable service unto Thee.
Maria Hare (1798-1870)

Garrison Keillor

I found this reprint of part of one of Keillor’s books online and it thought that it is so appropriate and true that I had to post it .   Enjoy! 

SINGING WITH THE LUTHERANSBy Garrison Keillor

I have made fun of Lutherans for years – who wouldn’t, if you lived in Minnesota?

 But I have also sung with Lutherans and that is one of the main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn.  We make fun of Lutherans for the blandness, their excess calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese.  But nobody sings like them. If you ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Lutheranless place, to sing the chorus of Michael Row the Boat Ashore, they will look daggers at you as if you had asked to strip to their underwear.  But if you this among Lutherans they’ll smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the Road!

Lutherans are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony.  It’s a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person’s rib cage. It’s natural for Lutherans to sing in harmony.  I do believe this:  People, these Lutherans, who love to sing in four-part harmony, are the sort of people you could call up when you’re in deep distress. If you’re dying, they’ll comfort you.  If you’re lonely, they’ll talk to you.  And if you’re hungry, they’ll give you tuna salad!

If you laughed while reading this you must be a Lutheran.

The following list was compiled by a 20th century Lutheran who, observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw and heard:

• Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.
• Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.
• Lutherans believe their pastors will visit then in the hospital, even if they don’t notify them that they are there.
• Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.
• Lutherans believe in miracles and even accept miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.
• Lutherans feel that applauding for their children’s choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.
• Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.
• Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.
• Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCA bride and an LCMS groom make for a mixed marriage.
• Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.
• Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.
• Lutherans think that Garrison Keillor stories are totally factual.
• Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper Liturgical color of the season and think that peas in tuna noodle casserole adds too much color.
• Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know when you’re a Lutheran when:

• Its 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.
• You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can!
• Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.
• The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked up tight.
• All your relatives graduated from a school name Concordia.
• When you watch a “Star Wars” movie and they say, May the Force be with you, you respond, “And also with you.”
• You actually understand those folks from Lake Wobegon, MN. And lastly it takes ten minutes to say good-bye.

She’s Finally Come

On the baby front:  The first of my friends had her baby today.  Yeah!  Baby #1 of the summer arrived this morning.  Kaitlyn Carol was born at 7:52 am (PST) weighing 8 pounds 10 ounces.  She’s 19 and 1/2 inches long with brown peach fuzz hair and gray eyes.  Both Mom and baby are doing great after a planned c-section.  Dad’s doing great also.  Welcome to the world little one! 

Let Us Pray
Lord Jesus Christ,
Protect, watch over, and bless this child
With a lively faith,
A fervent charity,
And a courageous hope of reaching your kingdom.
Amen
(Source: Traditional)
Note:  I await the births of FOUR more babies from friends of mine between now and December.  It’ll be baby central around here! 

More Lutheran Jokes

It seems like all you out there who are reading my blog really like the Lutheran jokes.  One characteristic about being a good Lutheran is that you really do have a good sense of humor about yourself and about life.  To satisfy the thirst for the jokes, I’ll try and end my blogs with a little bit of humor.

 Tomorrow my best friend from college, S. is having a planned c-section because her little girl is in the breach position.  This little one is the first of MANY births that are happening in the next year for friends of mine.  I couldn’t be more excited for S. and her husband.

You might be a Lutheran if…

…you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.

…you didn’t know chow mein noodles were a Chinese food.

…when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.

…during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.

…during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who’s at church that Sunday.

…rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guest book.

…you think Garrison Keillor’s stories are totally factual.

…you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

…a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.

…you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.

…the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.

…you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they’re not so messy then.

…you don’t make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it’s impolite.

…your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.

…you don’t know what was sooo funny about dat movie “Fargo” then.

…in response to someone jumping up and shouting “Praise the Lord!”, you politely remind him or her that we don’t do that around here.

…you think a meeting isn’t legitimate unless it’s at least three hours long.

…peas in your tuna noodle hotdish add too much color.

…you make change in the offering plate for a ten.

…your dad’s name is Luther N., your brother is Luther Hahn and you are Lew Theran.

…you think butter is a spice.

…the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.

…you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.

…you know what a “dead spread” is.

…you talk to someone else and look at their shoes first.

…you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter “j” as the second letter.

…the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk.

…Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives.

…you know what a Lutheran Church Basement Woman is.

…you give a party and don’t tell anyone where it is.

…you think hotdish is one of the major food groups.

many thanks to www.suite101.com/article.cfm/lutheranism/35195 for those jokes

Surprise Birthday Party

Tonight is a surprise birthday party for one of my friends.  Her husband is taking her to see Blue Man group in Boston so there’s no chance she’ll read my blog this afternoon.  The theme of the party is Alice in Wonderland (even though we’re definitely over 18 !) And the party is being held at a Chinese restaurant where they do Karaoke on Saturday nights.  It should be a great night!

Lutheran Jokes

The following Lutheran jokes cames from the website:

 http://www.lutheransonline.com/lutheransonline/games/?wssrc=enews080807e

Your 10 favorite “You Know You’re Lutheran When…” jokes have been determined.

You know you’re Lutheran when…
10. The only meal time prayer you know is “Come Lord Jesus”.
9. All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.
8. They have to rope off the last few pews in church so the front isn’t empty.
7. A midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.
6. You can’t imagine a celebration without food.
5. While wathing Star Wars you hear “May the force be with you” and you reply “And also with you”.
4. At potlucks all the men have tableware and napkins in their shirt pockets so their full plates are easier to carry.
3. You are at a funeral of a family member who is Catholic, and you are the only one who says “for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever and ever. Amen.” after everyone else is done.
2. You sing “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus” while sitting down.
1. You arrive in church and start having a panic attack because someone else is sitting in your pew.

 Too True

The aftermath

Well, my friend has decided to return to her husband and they both are going to see a different marriage counselor and try individual counseling.  Other than provide emotional support right now, I don’t think there’s anything else I can do.  She has a plan should things turn bad again.  I think all of us are simply exhausted right now.  I know I am.  My support has come from my pastor, who is an incredible pastor and a wonderful human being.  Immanuel is very luck to have her.

I need some sleep, and a chance to ruminate on everything that’s gone on in the past couple of days.

Oh, did I mention that my dad is going in for hernia surgery on Tuesday.  Prayers for him.

No one should put up with this

As I type this I am dealing with a friend’s situation of domestic violence.  She is 8 months pregnant with her second child (her first is 18 months old now) and tonight her husband hit her.  She called me to pick her up because she didn’t feel safe at her place with her husband.  Now I have some specialized training in dealing with domestic abuse situations, but I’ve never had to be one that has to help at this close a range before.  I called my pastor in to help out and she was wonderful.  At this point, I’m not sure what my friend is going to do.