With the New Year Approaching, I thought that some of us might need some excuses for getting off of work for those first couple of days in January. They are (as usual) provided to us by Mikey’s Funnies.
THE TEN MOST COMMON FORMS OF OFFICE ILLNESS
1. The Macy’s-One-Day-Sale Flu.
2. The Drivers-License-Renewal-Appointment-24-Hour Virus.
3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early-Sudden-Unbearable Stomach Pains.
4. The I’m-Looking-For-A-New-Job-And-I-Don’t-Know-How-Long-It’s-Going-to-Take-but-I-Want-To-Stay-On-The-Payroll-Until-Then Mysterious Infection.
5. The My-Boyfriend’s-Got-The-Week-Off-So-Suddenly-I’m-Too-Contagious-To-Come-In-To-The-Office Disease.
6. The I-Need-A-Hair-Cut-And-My-Stylist-Doesn’t-Make-Evening Appointments Bout of Influenza.
7. The There’s-No-Federal-Holidays-For-Two-Months-And-I-Want-A-Day-Off Sickness.
8. The It’s-Spring-Break-And-I-Want-To-Pretend-I’m-A-Teenager-Again General Ailment.
9. The I’ve-Messed-Up-Royally-And-I-Won’t-Come-In-To-Face-The-Music Terminal Illness.
10. The I-Really-Am-Sick-And-I’ve-Got-The-Doctor’s-Bills-And-The-Completed-Medical-Expense-Reimbursement-Forms-To-Prove-It Infirmity
(I’d like to add this one, which was sent as a comment)
11. The I-Just-Broke-Up-With-My-Coworker-and-I-indefinitely-have-a-bleeding-ulcer-until-I-get-a-different-job.
